The Limits of Human Imagination

Missing the Point

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 09:48:02 GMT

There are a lot of places where the four gospels contradict each other and vary in their messages. Having been written for different audiences, that's hardly surprising. So when you get three of them putting across the same message, more or less verbatim, you have to assume that you're within touching distance of how the historical Jesus thought.

Matthew 18:6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

Mark 9:42 "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea.

Luke 17:2 It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin.

The fact that the Catholic Church placed its own well-being above that of the children in its care, and indeed continues to do so should demonstrate clearly enough for anyone that this is an organisation that exists for its own benefit and the benefit of the clergy, not for the benefit of the many genuine believers, for whom it has been, and remains, a key part of their lives.

The Hand of St.-Denis

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:04:00 GMT

Well, after having watched that match last night, some points can be made.

1. It was a very deliberate handball. You can't really blame Thierry Henry for trying it, but you can blame him for claiming it was accidental.

2. FIFA's match report has no mention of the foul. Is anyone surprised? They got the result they wanted.

3. The entire Ireland team played out of their socks last night, and it was a crying shame to lose the way they did.

Oh, and...

4. Dermot Ahern is an attention/sympathy-seeking idiot.

Merlin Surprises

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:36:49 GMT

When the BBC's Merlin series first started airing, I took a look at it and deemed it promising, if somewhat vacuous. Sadly, the first series went nowhere and I stopped watching. Imagine my surprise then, when I caught an episode of the latest season on Saturday and found it to be excellent.

"Sins of the Father," the episode in question, was replete with the tragedy, deeply hidden secrets, raging passions and scheming enemies that mark some of the best Arthurian myths. Admittedly, the ending was something of a cop out, and the actor playing Merlin is a little bland for my tastes, but the actor playing the young Arthur had real presence and really seems to have grown into the role.

I hope it was representative of the series as a whole - if so, I may go back and watch the rest of it. Certainly, compared to what I was expecting, it shone.

Retail Warfare

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 09:07:41 GMT

The recession seems to be making a lot of companies uncomfortable, and the relationships between suppliers and retailers might be breaking down a little. A few months ago, Bulmers cider started an advertising campaign stating that it had cut the prices it was charging retailers for its products. In other words, if the prices hadn't come down for customers, it was because the pub owners were keeping the extra for themselves.

Not exactly a friendly move, but it must have been successful. Buses all over Dublin are adorned with Unilever brands, such as Hellmans and Ben & Jerry, proclaiming that they have cut prices so that retailers can pass on the savings to customers. It's a great piece of brand building, I suppose, but given that different shops charge different prices for the same goods, and that consumers are unlikely to monitor the price of a jar of mayonnaise from day to day, it's difficult to verify. I just wonder how happy Tesco and other retailers are about it.

The Latest Shiny

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 08:09:40 GMT

Without any real fanfare, Apple updated the consumer end of its Mac lineup yesterday, offering up new iMacs, iBooks and Mac Minis. The absence of one of the company's "media events" was reflected in the fact that these were not major updates, but there were things worth noting nonetheless.

Mac Minis: A minor update here, which is a shame, because I'd be in the market for a Mac Mini with decent storage and a HDMI port. The home server model, with no optical drive but two 500GB hard drives, is aimed at small businesses. Sadly uninspiring.

MacBooks: A form factor update here, with the occasionally damage-prone case of the old MacBook replaced by a hopefully more robust unibody. Better screen and battery bring it into line with the MacBook Pro line, but the pricing means that spending a little more for its metal-clad sibling seems a better deal.

iMacs: Not too many changes to a device that has one of the most attractive form factors in the business. Apart from larger screens, the big change is that customers can now order iMacs with the new Intel Core i5 and i7 chips, providing a serious power boost. If I had the money and the need, I would seriously consider getting one of these.

Magic Mice: Further adding appeal to the iMac is this replacement for Apple's much-maligned Mighty Mouse. Rather than a scroll wheel or s fiddly scroller ball, this sleek device has an upper surface that's also a multitouch touchpad. Quite how comfortable it will be to use, or how apt to mistaken touches, is something that only time will tell, but this has an immediate visual appeal that makes it Apple's first real mouse contender in a very long time. (And all the more amusing given Microsoft's very recent preview of some early multitouch mouse prototypes.)

Not a particularly exciting lineup then, but this is a good time to get consumer devices out, just before Christmas, and the iMac speed upgrades will be popular. Those who traffic in rumours can now go back to obsessing about Apple's mythical touchscreen device, which may actually show up some time next year.

The Voice of Homophobic Middle England

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 11:53:50 GMT

The Daily Mail is a hate-soaked rag. That is all.

The link is not to the Mail itself - I wouldn't give it more traffic than I had to.

Edit: Charlie Brooker responds in a far more eloquent way than I could. The text of Jan Moir's non-apology apology can be found here.

Planetary End Scenario

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 11:00:25 GMT

In 1999, Warren Ellis, a rising name at the time among comics writers, thanks to the success of his Transmetropolitan series, created two superhero comics very different from anything else on the market at the time. In May* came The Authority, an offshoot from Ellis's earlier work on Stormwatch, featuring large-scale action and violence. These factors helped Ellis's 12-issue run on The Authority revitalise an at-the-time stagnant superhero genre, but the series benefited even more from Ellis's dark humour and his light touch with characters, making them more than the caricatures that they could have been.

However, the previous month, Ellis had brought out another series, Planetary. Less directly influential than The Authority, Planetary was an exploration of the superhero genre, tracing its roots in pulp fiction, and all the way back to the gothic horror, detective, and cowboy genres of the 1800s, to name but a few. Plagued by delays due to personal and professional issues, it remained a high-water mark in terms of quality whenever it appeared on comic store shelves, and two days ago, the last issue, number 27, came out, a little over ten-and-a-half years since the first.

Part of Planetary's consistency was down to the art. Every issue benefited greatly from John Cassaday's art-nouveau linework and Laura Martin's sumptuous colours. Adding to the quality of the overall package was the story that Ellis weaved. Starting as an exploration of the strange history of the world depicted within (the characters self-identified themselves as archaeologists rather than superheroes), it gradually revealed greater secrets beneath the initial premise, and as the series progressed, the nature of the action shifted gradually from exploration to using acquired knowledge to act and make the world a better place thereby.

The last issue, released this week, was something of an epilogue as regards the main plotline, but it was no less satisfying for that. Tying together many of the threads from earlier issues, it made the point that saving a single life can be just as important as saving the world. Also, quite beautifully, it showed that uncovering secrets makes the universe more strange and wonderful, not less.

I'm going to miss Planetary, although given its publication schedule, what I'm more likely to miss is the anticipation of a new issue. Still, I now have the entire series to read at my leisure, with the inevitable collected editions down the line. Even when something comes to an end, there's always something else to look forward to.

*The dates printed on comic books were, at the time, somewhat in advance of their actual publication dates. For example, a book dated May would actually come out in March. Whether this is still the case, I don't know: I no longer pay attention to those dates.

Back from the Fjords

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 08:03:19 GMT

After a week doing a circuit of southern and central Norway, I'm back - though I suspect that my brain still remains partway over the North Sea. It's a fantastic country, well worth visiting, and not as expensive as I had feared (though that may be partly due to the fact that I already live in Dublin). There are plenty of photos to present and thoughts to expound - I'll offer more when they're in a presentable form.

Set-top Box of Apples

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 09:02:18 GMT

So Intel has been promoting its new chip, designed for consumer electronics, the announcement of which even managed to hit the BBC Web site. At the same time, falling stocks, price cuts and groundless rumour indicate that Apple's AppleTV could be seeing some changes before Christmas.

All eyes have been on the rumours of Apple's touchscreen device (now looking set to emerge in early 2010), so the AppleTV stuff has been drifting more or less below the horizon. All the same, there's a space beneath my TV for something that can play my media and hook me up to the Web, and I'd be interested in what Apple can offer, either a new Mac Mini, a more capable AppleTV, or something in between. I'll be watching for this.

Four-Corner Travel

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 08:52:34 GMT

Something that occurred to me at the weekend (and posted here for the purposes of amusement rather than gloating): entirely without forethought or planning, I'll have managed to hit all four extremities of Europe during 2009.

Westmost: Ireland - and on the west coast too.

Southmost: Spain - likewise on the south coast.

Northmost: Norway - sadly not taking in the Arctic Circle. That will wait for a later trip.

Eastmost: Turkey - Actually, Ukraine is easternmost in Europe, but the Asian part of Turkey extends further east, so I'm claiming it. Besides, crossing the Bosphorus to Asia was a real highlight of the year.

Proverb Testing

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 08:30:00 GMT

This morning, on my way to work, I spotted an actual early (black)bird catching a very unproverbial worm. While I feel a little sorry for the invertebrate, I have to congratulate the little bird on its hard work supporting our linguistic cliches.

Moving On Up (to HD)

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 13:16:41 GMT

So NTL/UPC finally got around to offering a HD service. And I, being unwilling to subject myself to several months dealing with their online ordering service in order to save Eu30, had it installed yesterday morning. Some early thoughts follow.

It's a Dust Magnet: The new HD box, being blacker and slimmer, is better looking than the old one, but it certainly needs its heat dissipation. The top is entirely taken up with ventilation holes, and the interior is going to get filled with dust very quickly.

The Software is Flaky: UPC is fairly good at updating the software on its boxes regularly. It's going to need to - although the HD box is quicker than the old DVR to respond, if you try to change channels through the guide before it's ready, it'll give up and start again. The picture also disappeared on me once or twice, but it seems to have stabilised a bit.

It's a Very New Service: There are only nine HD channels on offer, of which two (ESPN and Disney Cinemagic) are unavailable unless you subscribe to sports or movies, respectively. Most of the rest are documentary channels, which I'll admit appeals to me. Also, the guys who installed the box connected up both the Scart and HDMI cables, which seemed a bit excessive, so I took away the Scart and it seems to be working fine.

The Picture is Great: I'm not sure what the UPC HD standard is (720p or 1080i, both of which the box offers), but it certainly looks great - a lot better than digital, which was itself much better than analogue. For Eu2.50 extra a month (above the cost of a standard DVR), it seems worth it if you have a TV to make the most of it.

You'll Lose Your Recordings: I forgot to ask about this until it was too late. Most of what I had recorded onto my DVR was stuff I can live without, but my Eggheads appearance went along with everything else. Although there are other copies of that, I would much rather have been offered a way to transfer my recordings onto the new box. Hopefully, UPC will figure out a way to do that.

Hanging With Arthur and the Boys

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:37:35 GMT

The weekend just past was something of a busy one. Friday was steaks in Ryans of Ratoath, followed by a late-night game of Risk and much beer, and Saturday started with recovery from the aforementioned and a fry-up breakfast before seguing into a gathering to watch West Brom's first match of the new season (a disappointing 1-1 home draw), finished off with the first half of The Fellowship of the Ring, watched from the comfort of the couch. Sunday, though, was the killer: The Battle of Badon Hill, where King Arthur's knights finally faced and defeated the Saxon menace.

I've been running a Pendragon campaign using the "Great Campaign" sourcebook since the start of 2007. That's just about two-and-a-half years, not counting a gap of around ten months in the middle. It's been fascinating, frustrating and hard going, and the fact that it has been so rewarding is mostly down to having four excellent players (plus a few others who have dropped in from time to time), who have put up with my mistakes and entered into the spirit of things at all times.

It's now time to take another break, and let someone else run something. The notes for my campaign have become unwieldy and disorganised, and the list of NPCs is more than I can keep in my head at any one time (though the great Badon cull will help with that). Time to take it all back, rejigger it with one eye on the future and the other on the weak points in the campaign just past. Hopefully, when (not if) it returns, it'll be even more satisfying, both for the players and for me.

Just a thought...

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 07:53:39 GMT

...is Madonna a talent vampire?

Sean Penn was never so good while he was married to her as he has been since, and Guy Ritchie looked like he was heading for oblivion until he got shot of her: now his Sherlock Holmes looks like a film I'd actually like to see.

Admittedly, that may be a combination of Robert Downey Jr. and my love of all things Holmesian, but still, whichever Hollywood flavour-of-the-week she hooks up with next ought to watch out.

Pleasant Surprises

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 16:22:37 GMT

There's been too much cinema on this journal lately, or perhaps too little of anything else. Still, after a summer in which "witless" was the highest form of praise, to come across a genuinely interesting and affecting piece of cinema shouldn't go without notice.

The film in question is Moon, a low budget piece that looks down on the Transformers and Terminators of this world from great heights. Its minimal cast, with Sam Rockwell front and centre almost all the time, packs in nuance and personality aplenty. Yes, there are twists to this tale of a lonely miner serving a 3-year contract on the dark side of the moon, but they're not the point. This is all about character and predicament, and with the help of Clint Mansell's haunting, uplifting score, it manages to be bleak and beautiful and many other things besides.

The only potential downsides are a couple of slightly too-clever nods to SF predecessors, but they're borderline cases at worst. Go see it: it won't change your life, but you'll come out of it with a feeling of an hour-and-a-half well spent, and that's rare enough this summer.

P.S. Another thing worth mentioning was the venue in which I first saw Moon (yes, I've watched it twice now). The Lighthouse cinema in Dublin's Smithfield district is a most uncinema cinema, pared back to the bare essentials, with plenty of space to sit down and hang out before, during or after the film. Comfortable too, as its seats don't bother with that spring-loaded action, and offer plenty of legroom. Definitely somewhere to come again in the future.

Reboot, Start Again

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 08:18:28 GMT

The complete lack of posting here lately is reflective of the general lack of productive activity I've been engaging in lately. Around the halfway point of the year, I made a concerted effort to get back to writing and set up a few projects to work on. Unfortunately, "concerted" turned quickly to "half-hearted", and I'm back where I began.

So let's start again. Due to work and a few other factors, I have a bit more free time each week than I've had for a long time. Apart from writing, I've had a pretty good year - lots of travelling, and my Pendragon campaign is now only a session or two away from Badon Hill, which will be very satisfying (and provide a place for a break, providing me for more free time). If I can get back into the habit of spending an hour writing whenever I get home, before anything else, I'll be halfway to being productive again.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Tell, Then Show

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 07:57:21 GMT

I ended up watching The Mummy 3: Revenge of the Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (or something) the other evening and was witness to the following scene, which summed up most of my problems with the movie.

Brendan Fraser is leading the rest of our heroes through a snowy valley somewhere in the Himalayas. He looks up and points into the distance.

"We'll camp there for the night."

Cut to: A long shot of a CGI valley in the Himalayas, where some ruins perch implausibly on a ledge. As we watch, day fades quickly into night, revealing, yes, a campfire in the middle of the ruins.

Cut to: A close up shot of our heroes huddled around a campfire.

Now, I know I've been harping on about bad writing in movies (a lot) lately, but is there any part of the above that isn't redundant, other than the last shot? Other than providing work for hungry CGI artists, is there any reason why we can't just jump to the campside scene? Human brains, even those of children, are remarkably good at filling in the gaps in narratives. Stuff like the above might just train it out of us.

Ten Things I Learned From Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:36:55 GMT

Last year's Writer's Strike has a lot to answer for. We're just now facing up to the results of the dark times when everyone in Hollywood with a grasp of realistic dialogue and narrative structure was on the picket lines, and the view isn't pretty. Three of the biggest films of the year, Star Trek, Terminator: Salvation and now Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen have shown just what you get when you make a movie with only intermittent or frantically hurried writerly support. The last of the three was my viewing choice for the evening, and while it wasn't as offensively bad as Terminator, it was an order of magnitude dumber than either of its predecessors.

Still, you can always learn something from opening yourself to new experiences.

1. It is possible for a movie to be over the top before the film itself has started to roll. Somebody let the sound editor loose on the Dreamworks and Paramount title sequences. The result wasn't pretty.

2. If your first movie has provided you with a bombastic, recognisable and catchy theme tune, you should use it in the sequel. What you shouldn't do is let the composer noodle around with it on his synthesizer until everything that made it good has been lost.

3. Megan Fox finds it impossible to run in any speed other than slow motion. On the bright side, she does have hypnotic powers while doing so.

4. Egypt is one of the world's smallest countries. It's true. No more than 20 km square at most. Cairo is just downhill from the pyramids, and Petra (in Jordan) is no more than a short drive and a sprint away.

5. There's something wonderful about the fact that Michael Bay got so excited about the notion that a giant robot could have giant robotic testicles. It's like someone once told him to release his inner child, and he's never been the same since.

6. When making a sequel to a film like Transformers, it's important that not only should the sequel make no sense on it's own terms, but it should also retroactively ensure that the original makes no sense either. Revenge of the Fallen is so dumb, it made its own parent stupider.

7. If your main hero is in the middle of a fight with a cadre of bad guys, it's important that his loyal soldiers hang back until there's absolutely no point in them showing up at all. Then, and only then, should they arrive to do whatever is necessary to advance the plot past this particular set piece.

8. Speaking of which, a plot is not entirely necessary for a film. All that is required is that you have a chain of set piece moments, loosely tied together by the fact that the same characters show up in several of them. Not with any logic, mind you, just when you feel that you ought to throw them in there for maximum impact.

9. It is possible to shoot a film in which every female character is tokenistic. In fact, pretty much every human character here is tokenistic. One feels that Michael Bay somehow resents the fact that he has to pander to an audience and would prefer to be allowed to blow things up until doomsday (which he would direct).

10. Any movie, no matter how bad, can be redeemed by a cranky British robot with a walking stick, doing his best Warren Ellis impersonation. At least until he turns into Mr. Exposition and then disappears for no adequately explained reason.

O2 Idiocy

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 08:16:24 GMT

The iPhone 3GS receives its Irish launch today, a week after it arrived in several larger and therefore more important markets. To promote it, O2 has opted for a cover sheet on the daily Metro newspaper. Said cover sheet offers four pages: outside front and back and inside front and back. So what does O2 do? It puts the exact same image (of some shiny iPhone 3GSs, which look exactly like the old iPhone 3G) and copy (saying no more than that the iPhone 3GS is the fastest, most powerful iPhone yet) on each page.

Not one word about the iPhone 3GS's new features, nor about the prices you'll pay should you opt for an O2 contract. Nor about the fact that the iPhone 3G is still available, cheaper than ever. Nope, just the same image and copy repeated four times. (The fact that "fastest, most powerful" is a tautology in computing terms just depresses me further.)

It used to be said of Apple, during Steve Jobs' wilderness years, that the Mac was a great product in the hands of an idiot company. That particular description seems to fit O2's possession of the exclusive iPhone contract very well. I think I advised O2 this time last year to fire whoever is responsible for their marketing. Well, I'd like to amend that. They should shoot them instead. It can only do them good in the long run.

The Universe is Endlessly Fascinating

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 09:28:47 GMT

Wikipedia is an awful time-sink, and I try to avoid spending all of my free time in it. Still, the occasional browse is worthwhile, because it sometimes turns up gems like this:

"The radius of a white dwarf is inversely proportional to the cube root of its mass."

Or to put it another way, the more mass you add to a white dwarf, the smaller it gets. Which, to me, is both counter-intuitive and wonderful.

I now return you to your original programming.

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 13:22:19 GMT

Over the last four weeks, I've been lucky enough to take not one, but two week-long holidays. On the first, in west Clare, I had just enough Internet connection to keep in touch with the news. On the second, in the south of Spain, I had no Internet at all. And you know what? I didn't miss it. Apart from some twitchiness on the first day, I was happy enough going without (and much more relaxed). It's nice to know that even ingrained habits can be disposed off without too much trouble.

That said, when I got back this morning, it was to face 60-70 emails and several thousand news items. So, I've been speed-skimming the latter for the last few hours, and the following is a list of the things that jumped out at me.

Steve Jobs Had a Liver Transplant: I wonder if Apple are going to get in trouble over this, given how many investors whined about disclosure over his earlier illnesses. Still, I wish him well.

Celtic Steal West Brom's Manager: Actually, I saw this in a newspaper while on holiday and it had been on the cards before I left. Still, having just been relegated, we've now lost our manager and look likely to lose several of our best players. Next season could be tough, and I worry about another period in the wilderness.

Apple are to Open a Dublin Store: Well, it's about time. Mind you, given that I can spend €22 on a return bus trip to Belfast and save €200 on a 13" MacbookPro, I may not be doing to much purchasing hereabouts.

There are Racist Thugs in Belfast: Not exactly news to anyone. There are racist thugs everywhere, of course, but the meme of "us-vs.-them" that the Troubles instilled in so much of the population makes this particularly sickening.

Iran's Elections Were a Bit of a Joke: Having just had some fairly pleasing election results over here, it was a bit disappointing to see this one come through. Still, at least the reformers were allowed to compete this time around. I suspect Obama is right when he says that although the arc of history is lengthy, it tends towards justice. And speaking of that cold-eyed killer...

Obama Swatted a Fly: Effete, wishy-washy liberal? The Republicans only wish he was. Look at his eyes as he closes in for the kill - the man's a born assassin. That fly was doomed as soon as it invaded his personal space. I'm sure North Korea has taken note. Oh, and PETA has complained. Seriously. That group's existence is now solely devoted to publicising its own existence.

Always With the Shiny...

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 10:21:14 GMT

So another Apple keynote speech has come and gone, leaving behind the new shiny. The basic details are easy to find: a laptop upgrade, a new OS, a new phone OS and new, faster iPhones. All very appealing, and if you want to know more, you can always go to MacRumors.

However, Apple being what it is, it's always more fun to speculate about the next big thing, and on that front, two things caught my eye: a person who wasn't there, and a product line that ended the night looking somewhat denuded.

For the last several years, Apple has divided its computer products into four segments, Pro and Consumer desktops, and Pro and Consumer Laptops.* Yesterday, Apple recognised what had been obvious for several months and rebranded its aluminium-bodied MacBooks as 13" MacBook Pros. This left the consumer-oriented MacBook line (Apple's biggest seller) with a measly single model, which is now looking more than a little dowdy.**

Apple's not likely to leave this state of affairs to endure for too long, but how do they go about changing it? Well, it just so happens than the architect of the "four-segments" scheme has been on a break from the company for the last six months and is due to return at the end of June. Showman that he is, Steve Jobs knows that his absence has garnered Apple a lot of media attention (read: free advertising) and he's not likely to waste the opportunity to return to the company with a bang.

What I suspect will happen will be that Apple will hold one of its "media events" towards the end of the month, where Jobs will return and present the world with the new MacBook line (or MacBook replacement). Quite what that will be, I'm not sure, but I can speculate. The netbook market has become big enough and solid enough for Apple to want to grab a slice, but they're not going to compete at the low-end. If I had to guess, I'd expect a device around 10-11", with a touchscreen, possibly running a modified version of the iPhone OS. Like the MacBook Air and most netbooks, it'll have no CD/DVD drive, but it will have both WiFi and 3G. I'm up in the air over whether it will have a keyboard, but I suspect it might, though at this point my speculation fails me.

All very vague, I know, but the point is that Apple hasn't released a genuinely game-changing piece of hardware since the iPhone. Moreover, the iPhone only really hit its stride last year, with the creation of the App Store, making the point that it's all about the software. At this stage, Apple has a large online ecosystem that they could plug a new device into, and an untapped market of consumers eager for cheap, connected devices. They'd be fools not to at least be thinking about it.

*The MacMini and MacBook Air fall outside this scheme, but they're niche products at best.

**I have one myself, and although it's a pretty constant companion, it's not nearly as drool-inducing as its metal-clad younger siblings.

Declan Finds His Petard

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 18:01:51 GMT

Reading "Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72" in the midst of election season has created a weird disjunction in my brain. While we have corruption aplenty, it's relatively meagre stuff, and the level of debauchery has been rather disappointing, glamorous airbrushed election posters of young female candidates notwithstanding. And Brian Cowen only wishes he was Richard Nixon.

Still, there's amusement to be had. Especially when arch anti-something candidate Declan Ganley demands a recount only to find that he'd been given 3,000 more votes than he should have got.

What with Mary Lou McDonald losing her Euro seat here in Dublin, it's been a good set of results all round.

Edit: Snerk.

A Pseudo-Liberal and Proud of It

Thu, 21 May 2009 10:15:02 GMT

So poor, put-upon Dermot Ahern is complaining about all the nasty "pseudo-liberals", who are being so intolerant and raising a stink about his efforts to just follow orders and fine them massive amounts of money for saying nasty things about religion. One wonders if Dermot is, even now, waiting by the phone for a call from some kettles regarding his midnight hue.

We "pseudo-liberals" are indeed intolerant, especially when it comes to enshrining intolerance for free speech in the law. Dermot seems to think that a true liberal is tolerant of everything, especially governments that fiddle while the economy burns, hand out the proceeds of a global boom to their cronies, and collaborate with the Catholic Church to hide decades of child abuse. We are indeed intolerant of things like that, which is presumably why Dermot considers us only "pseudo-liberals".

In the Gloamin'

Thu, 14 May 2009 08:30:07 GMT

A rather forlorn-looking pigeon has been perched on a railing outside my window for the last half an hour. With its feathers ruffled to an extreme, it looks somewhat like a fluffy rugby ball, with a pair of pink feet gripping the dripping iron beneath. Not being an avian expert, I don't know how old it is, or what gender, but if I had to guess, it's the pigeon equivalent of a teenager who's just left home, dealing with the harsh world for the first time.

I know how it feels. It's one of those mornings, where you're not dealing with rain so much as water-saturated air. Dublin's rooftops are lost in a drizzled haze, and no one with any sense is outside. Only the seagulls don't mind, wheeling about in the air as they look out for abandoned scraps of food. The pigeons, meanwhile, just perch and mutter to themselves as they wait for summer to finally show up.